I’m A Mess
I’m so fcuked up. My life is so fcuked up. I’m so about to give up and pack up and leave for some remote shithole in the province… except that there would be no internet there, and that would hasten my death. Then again, why not take a handful of sleeping pills and push it down with a shot of Jack’s? Damn. This is quite a fix that I’m in. I owe it all to one person, who I’m finding out that I don’t really hate that much at all.
One person who fcuked up my life so bad that I’m all in pieces, pieces that would take a billion years to be reassembled and glued together in one piece.
*sigh*
This sucks. I hate being a mess. I hate it when feel shattered. I hate it when I feel broken. And you know what else I hate? I hate myself for hating this person that I just discovered that I dont really hate at all.
This is the product of soliloquiy. When I get to thinking, I realize a lot of things. And when, just when I thought that I’m already on the road to recovery, here I am, picking up me again, lost in a world of swirling voices, of booze and cigarettes, of friends and would be friends, of the internet and chat, of all the fcuktards and lame-ass people, of me, myself, and loneliness.
Yes. It is hard being me.
*sulk*
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3 Responses to “I’m A Mess”
By Kat on Jan 30, 2006 | Reply
Hi keysi! I'm enjoying your flickr stuff. And wow, yeah, I have always wanted a lomo cam, it's downright cool! When i get the chance i will definitely get one. Your site is cool.. thanks for dropping by mine. (-:
By keysi on Jan 30, 2006 | Reply
sure Kat! link kita! :D
By sylvia plath on Jan 31, 2006 | Reply
i suggest you put your head inside the oven but then again you dont have one so why bother. then again i could always shoot or stab you. since you are in the habit of doing soliloquy nowadays we could revert to a shakesperean death (my all time favorite is the poison-in-the-ear-while-you-sleep) which is always inventive and cruel. an elizabethan style death is pure gore and drama. modern death by cancer from too much cigarettes and alcohol is a plain bore. so choose your death. il be waiting.