Glorified Version of A Stranger

I said goodbye to Makati several weeks ago and transferred to a nice place in Mandaluyong. Now I live in a three-bedroom-three-floor house. Coolness. Problem is if Makati to Pasay is far, then Mandaluyong to Pasay is farther. Right?

This was the first thing that I considered before abandoning my Makati Avenue Condo. Fortunately, I found a great and cheap solution: MRT. When I was in Makati this was not an option that I considered because I had to walk a kilometer to Buendia before I can ride a jeepney to the MRT. That’s simply too much effort for me.

Better in Mandaluyong though. A minute’s walk away from my house and I can ride a jeepney to the MRT. It IS farther, but definitely more convenient. Also, it’s nearer to the Mega Mall, and Galleria. This is a plus for me because there is a Krispy Kreme in the Mega Mall.

Anyway, I forgot to mention that before I transferred in Mandaluyong, I found myself staying in my ex-girlfriend’s place in QC. Now if Mandaluyong was far from Pasay, QC is light years away! So I had no choice but to take the MRT everyday to work, so I obediently trudged to the GMA Kamuning day in and day out. So what’s wrong?

What’s wrong is that the people who get on at the Cubao station don’t have manners and behave like complete idiots. We’ll call them orcs. Yes, these orcses just jam themselves inside the train. They don’t even wait for the door to open - they force the door open, then they run inside the train. Now the funny thing is the n00bs always stand near the door where they get crushed by smelly, bad-breathed orcses (big ones too - mostly male). Most of the time the n00bs don’t complain, but there are some who actually tell the orcses to stop shoving. Unfortunately, to these orcses words and phrases sound like grabdfikklah rutreedflun krkttflerrr, so it’s a waste of energy to complain. We civilized people simply stay at the very middle of the car and avoid any form of contact with these scum.

Unfortunately, the shoving, pushing, smelly mass of orcses do not stop there. That’s just wave one of three waves of orc attacks. The next one will be on the Shaw Blvd. station where the orcses are now more diverse. The mass swells just a little bit as male and female orcses push their smelly bodies inside the train. Oh look, one orc has his hand on the poor girl’s ass.

Next wave: Guadalupe station! This is where it gets interesting. By this time, the train’s already at it’s limit. Guadalupe station’s just 2 stations away from Shaw Blvd. so only about a couple of smellies should be able to get on. This is the part where you admire the orcses for their persistance because not only does everyone else get on the train, they also manage to dick around and complain, maybe even strike a conversation with a cute orcess (female orc).

So the train moves along past several stations. Most of the civilized people get off at the Ayala station, but that’s two stations away from Guadalupe, so the n00bs in the center of the smellies will most likely be weak and exhausted by the time the train reaches Ayala.

The orc journey finally ends when the train gets to the Magallanes station. 95% of the smellies get off here. The only ones left are a few orcses, several students, SM Sales Ladies, and some high class people (us LOL). This is where everyone else gets a chance to sit down and enjoy the short ride to the final station. Of course, your MRT ride will not be complete without the final battle with the smellies (well, some of them) because when the train hits the Taft Ave. station, you will behold a fresh horde of orcses shoving their way in the train while you cry out in pain as you wriggle your way out.

Do you have a similar experience with the orcses? Tell me about it, leave me a message!

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