Glorified Version of A Stranger

Public transportation is fun. You get to see all sorts of people. You encounter the Orcs, the Geeks, the Stupids, the Assholes, the Goody-Two-Shoes, the Hotties, the Godawful Fags, etc. Don’t take me wrong. I have nothing against these people. I just enjoy observing their sense of fashion and their utter stupidity. I’ve managed to take quick pics (using my hardcore-state-of-the-art-camphone-yeah) of these beings in action. Note that some of the pics were taken in the mall while trawling for the Hotties (and not actually finding one because it was a Sunday). Yeah. Shut. Up. Read on and see if you get the funnies in this post. Flamers and do-gooders are welcome apart from the usual faithful readers. Oh and if this guy Jason , the one who commented on my piece on Jhozel’s reading this, dude, this is the blog post that you have been looking for man! LOL!1 Read on and view the pics.

First pic: Make-up-in-the-jeep mole-in-the-eyebrow Chick

I took this while on a jeepney to the SM Mall of Asia. Note that when she got on, she looked much more horrible than this. She didn’t have make up on, her hair was all stringy, and she smelled of stale sweat. Jeezas! She must live in a far away place to look like this so early in the morning! The stupidest, and yet most amazing thing about this was that she managed to apply all the gunk on her fugly mug while the jeepney was moving. My wife takes about 45 minutes to finish applying the usual getup on her face (and really enhancing her already beautiful mug, thank you very much). This lady managed to apply all that cheap, acne-causing makeup on her face in under 10 minutes, with everyone in the jeepney watching. Talk about pressure man.

I wonder how the mallrats would react to a “Yes ser, gud murning ser, anderwer po para kay misis,” with a gut-wrenching amoy-pawis effect.

Second pic: My-crack-wants-a-bit-more-action-please Chick

Nunez, Keysi: LOL
Chick, Hot: WTF?
Chick, Hot: i’m busy dude! stay away from me!
Nunez, Keysi: Oh come on. Just take a look at the damn picture. You’ll like it.
Chick, Hot: fine.
Chick, Hot: putangna! alkansiya oh!
Nunez, Keysi: Toldja.
Chick, Hot: seriously dude, where the hell did you get this picture
Nunez, Keysi: Department store
Chick, Hot: anong ginagawa m sa dept store? namboboso ng mga panget? hahahahaha
Nunez, Keysi: I was with my wife. She was shopping for shoes. I WAS BORED OKAY!
Chick, Hot: you were looking for fugly chicks, manyak!
Nunez, Keysi: Puta. LOL. I don’t need to say anything. You women take 10 fucking years to finish you shopping!
Chick, Hot: MANYAKIS! stay away frm me!

Okay, Hot Chick agreed to post a copy of our partial conversation only if I change her name to HOT CHICK. Also, the remainder of the conversation contained nothing but threats, insults, and a lot of cussing. Move along please.

Third pic: Big-assed-matching-shirt-and-high-waist-panties Chick

KFC! My favorite’s the Original Recipe Chicken swimming in a pool of gravy! Yum! Nina and I were having lunch when this lady and her friend stationed near us. I nearly choked at the sight of her big-momma red panties. LOL. I think she did this on purpose, so that everyone who sees her will know that terno’s are fucking back! Nevermind the juicy G-strings you see on hot women. When in the mall, look for them big assed women wearing horrendous, high waist underwear. These people are full of win, sure to make your day (or your KFC eating experience) a memorable one!

Fourth pic: Coffin-modeled-WT-do-you-call-them-stupid-old-pants Guy

I ride the MRT to work. This is usually what happens in my day to day life. I spend more time outside my house, than I do inside my house. My wife misses me a lot because I’m not home most of the time (yeah, I’m a schmuck). I’m usually at work, kissing someone’s ass in order to get promoted and bring enough dough to feed my family, pay the bills, give my wife shopping money, waste cash on beer and cigarettes, and wipe my ass with 1000 peso bills. But then the MRT days usually happen because I have no choice but to save money for the bills and all. Of course there are those lazyass days where I dick around with my computer, watching porn for 30 more minutes, hoping that getting a cab won’t take an hour of my time. There was this one extraordinary day when I saw this clown waiting for the 7:00 train, standing in my usual spot. I didn’t want to be a total asshole so I just stood there behind him, captured his picture, and made a mental note to blog about him. See those pair of pants he’s wearing? Those are really in these days! I saw a lot of people wearing them, back in the 80’s that is. The bag! The bag! The black bag modeled like a coffin, with red lining and a red cross. Something like this, but with a smaller cross and a billion times more cheap looking. LOL. And yeah, how could I forget? He smelled like the kids who played in sun the all day.

Fifth pic: I-don’t-care-if-we’re-in-the-MRT-and-everyone-is-listening-to-our-fight Couple

What’s really rewarding on most days is eavesdropping on someone’s conversation. This particular day was on a different level than eavesdropping. I had front seats to a classic lover’s quarrel, plus I managed to snap a quick photo of our subjects in action! Hey, I think their facial expressions are great. Not! They were arguing about some chick in the jeepney that the guy was staring at. The girl was saying things like “Bakit mas maganda ba siya sakin? Dun ka na nga sa kanya!” and “Eh ang lagkit ng tingin mo eh, parang takam na takam ka!”. LOL. I felt like I just won the lottery. This was a hard to find moment between lovers. Never mind the PDA’s. Those are easy to spot. The fights are way better, with almost everyone in the train witnessing it too. What stupids. They might as well taped thier fight and uploaded it in youtube. Wait, why didn’t I think of that when I was in the train? D’oh!!1

Do you have a similar experience in the mall, in a fast food joint, or in public transportations? Share your experience! Leave me a message!

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