Glorified Version of A Stranger

Written on 12/29/2007 – 11:07 pm | by keysinunez.com | 2,439 Views

New theme, new post. I wanted to rant about the asshole who created this new theme that I’m using. What’s more is that I’d like to have a conversation with him and tell him personally what sucks in his theme. Because I’m too lazy to contact him, and because email is not personal (duh?!), I gave him my two cents worth in my brain.

Me: Hey dude! I just wanted to personally say this to you.
Him (startled): Huh? Who the he…
Me (screams in his ear): FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!!
Him (jumps away): WHOA!!! Simmer down man, what the heck’s your problem?
Me (crazy eyes): Your fucking Wordpress theme is my fucking problem! I’m using it, but I’m so pissed off at you I wanna clip your nails with a chainsaw!
Him: What the?! You’re using my theme and you bad mouth me? I think I should be one cussing man. You sonnavabi…
Me: Know what? FUCK YOU!
Him (temper flares): Seriously man, you’re getting to my nerves!
Me (laughs): Hey asshole, you should apologize to me!
Him (flabbergasted): Why the hell should I apologize to you for using my theme?

Me (lights a cigarette): Because number one, you fucking embedded your ads in the theme! Unknowing n00bs would use your theme and wouldn’t even know that they’re generating revenue for you!!! Number two, you embedded your fucking RSS Feed in the theme! Readers would want to subscribe to my RSS Feed and would end up subscribing to yours!!! Your’re fucking twisted man! Selfish! You’re a fucking asshole! Don’t even get me started on the…
Him (giggles): Dude, this is the internet. Every man for himself. If you wanna earn big you have to have a scheme. Didn’t you know that?
Me (self-righteously): I don’t have to know that dimbulb. I’m a good person, and I don’t want to feed myself with fucking black propaganda money…
Him (shouts): You know what? FUCK YOU! If you don’t like me theme don’t us…

Me (stabs his neck with an icepick): “DIE BITCH!!!”
Him: “Ungh! You fu…” *dies*Honestly, the theme’s great. I think it’s just wrong that the ads, the RSS Feed and all the other shit’s embedded in the theme. I mean, you could have placed a note in your Read Me file, which contained NOTHING, save for the theme installation and replacing the feedburner link. Also, I found a ton of shit pointing to your website. It’s just a fucking crime. That’s all.

Feel free to send me hate mail or death threats. Leave a comment.
Also, the first picture is not in any way related to this article.

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