Glorified Version of A Stranger

I. Hate. Kids.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a proud and loving father and husband. It’s just that in general, I hate kids, with the exception of my daughter. I hate it when they tinker with my stuff, or pester me with questions. I hate it when they’re noisy and restless. Why the hell can’t they stay in one place and shut their traps? LOL.

So, in an effort to push for strict and rigid child discipline, I offer you five ways of helping these little boogers achieve the ultimate disciplined behavior.

1. Spanking - the most common of all punishments given to children. Nowadays, if you whip your child too much, they end up being rebels. Nothing new here, except that spanking isn’t limited to children anymore.

2. Scolding - I don’t get it. Why the hell do people point when they’re scolding someone? Can’t one scold with their hands in their pockets? With all the pointing going on, it looks more like blaming - or an accusation even. Don’t believe me? Try Googling “scolding”.

3. Cold Shoulder - one thing: if you’re wearing a jacket, can it still be a cold shoulder? Lame. I know.

4. Threatening - threated the kids too much, and he might just lose his voice. It’s traumatizing, yeah, but kinda okay if he’s not your child. LOL?

5. Showering with more love and attention - yup. People actually do this. An officemate once commented that when his 7 year-old kid destroyed his NBA card collection, he didn’t get angry at all. He just loved his son all the more. Huh?

Shit. I need to come up with better blog posts than this. It’s hard coming up with a post during break time. I should write something about toilet training girls next. No? Ktnxbai.

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